The One

As I lose my self a little every day, I dream on to become the one

As I walk on this path all alone day by day, till I am done

And how I mock myself again and again, the other me just watch

A few blur memories though, make me feel the sweet touch

So I deal with things, which have gone wrong, things I have done wrong

I look back and I see me, the same old me singing, the same old song

How good things would be, how good I should be

Unpacked thoughts and inconvenient lies, an awkward mind in me.

Comfortable pain or desirable death, they confuse me every time.

As life plays on and we all play along, just like mimes

I am out to find answers but the questions are so incomplete

Like all the dead puzzles came alive and back on their feet.

As I live myself a little every day, to make myself the one

As I trip and fall everyday on this path, watch my bruises burn

And how I push myself over and over, the other me makes fun

I smile at him and continue to live, as I am, still undone.

Love and other bruises

Otherwise my life would be alright, if I didn’t see you that night,

Wish it wasn’t raining from evening and wish you were out of my sight.

As you were walking by, snuggling and giggling, holding hands and him beside

And my whole world came crashing down. That night, love died.

You were the one I ever loved; you were the one I ever had

As you promised to be with me, forever or so you said.

Why you have to do me so wrong, leaving me in this road all alone

Was it something I did or said, for what you have to hurt me so bad?

I thought you are only mine, but I failed to read those signs

I should’ve seen it in your eyes, your love was in disguise.

But I was too blind to see, that you were cheating on me

As I was cold and alone in my bed, you were sleeping with other guys.

So you are leaving now and your eyes are filled with tears

You kissed my lips goodbye, but now, it hardly matters

I tried to smile but couldn’t, as from this ripped heart, blood oozes

And I go on, with these love and other bruises.

Don’t you know?

Don’t you know, do I have to say it loud

How much I love you, how much I need you

Don’t you see, in you, what I have found

A chunk of love and happiness for a moments few.

In your deep dark eyes, in your cute sweet smile

I find my world of joy and all my dreams seem so true

And I want to hold you in my arms so tight for a while.

Don’t you know girl, I want to kiss your puffy cheeks too.

My shoulder’s your pillow; lap’s your bed and arms your blanket

And I’ll keep you safe while you sleep, like a little baby

Don’t you know, I’ll be holding you, till death do us apart

Cuddle you with a lump in my throat and with a heart so heavy.

Don’t you know girl, I can’t live without you by my side

Don’t you know baby; wherever you go, my heart will follow

On heaven and earth I promise, to you, I have never lied

I love you so much, don’t you know, don’t you know?

Sir Bob and the spider

“And here I am hiding like a coward in this hut

Crushed, defeated and with a dejected heart.

So I dreamt to rule England as the first scot

And bring peace to my motherland, so I thought.

Friend Wallace fought hard, fought tough

Yet we lost and Longshanks had the last laugh.

Will’s limbs were torn apart before they cut his head

Saw dying men, women and children, them I lead.

Now I am hiding in this coast of Ireland like an outlaw

Even these hands have forgotten the sword I used to draw.

Six bloody war I fought with these bastards Englishmen

Lost my friends, people and wealth, for the freedom to gain.

Now laying here, my empty eyes gazing at the ceiling,

At that spider weaving it’s net between two iron beams.

What an irony! Sixth time it failed to do so, as I am counting

And it’s trying seventh times and my hopes are mounting.

If a tiny spider doesn’t give up, why the ‘king of Scotland’ should?

To free my country and have Edward’s head if I could.

A spider taught a king the most valuable lesson of my life

Never give up; never give in, the spirit that makes u thrive.”

So he gathered his army for one more time

To free Scotland and to make England pay for every dime

And from that day to many years to come, now and forever

People will remember the story, ‘Sir Bob and the spider’.

SOUL

       Why this life’s so cruel, why this world’s so unkind             

Why every day I have to carry around this corpse of mine

Why this fire of guilt and shame burns me every night

Like a sinner in hell, helpless I embrace my worst fright.

I can smell the long dead rotten soul in this living me

A remorseful repenting crippled life is all I have

Yet I dream to make my rhapsody in every season of spring

Only to find myself standing all alone with that leafless tree.

Like the cursed stone, who was once a human I am waiting

Beside this path of life, waiting for that magic touch

Which will turn me back to what I was, once upon time

A happy lad, with his cute smile and his gleeful soul.

Sore Loser

It’s been long I’ve won a dual with my life
Lately it’s coming so heavy on me, nailing me down.             
So I am complaining and whining
Begging for another chance, to win the crown.



The chances are floating by and opportunities are wasted.
I am growing a bit more desperate to catch and hold them.
Yet they are just slipping away from my hands.
And I am stuck somewhere in the middle of my pride and shame.


A part of me is still fighting, the other part have surrendered
A few forgotten pieces have flown free.
Empty feelings and broken promises seems the reality
Though a long forgotten sweet dream sometimes disturbs me.


Now often I fear to be haunted by the memories I cherished
And to be drawn into an unknown and uncertain world.
Where the once winners trapped for ever
With a tag on their back, reads ‘Sore Loser’ in bold.

Sir Mordred, King Arthur & The Battle of Camlann.

King Arthur, the greatest king of Briton had a son with his half-sister Anna. This was the darkest secret of this noble king.

 When he learned from a prophecy that this illegitimate child will be the one to destroy him, he sailed the infant with forty other new born kids away from Britain.

Unfortunately the ship sank but the boy was the only survivor of that grievous voyage. He was brought back to his birth place and there he grew to become 'The Ultimate Nemesis of Arthur'.

Here is the story of Sir Mordred the bastard son of King Arthur, who was also a knight of ‘The Knights of the Round table’ and about King Arthur and the last battle of their life, ‘The Battle of Camlann’.


 

MORDRED:



I am Mordred, Sir Mordred, the traitor knight of the round table.
I am still the most hated, in all the British legends and fables.
My birth even made the greatest king of Briton, guilty and ashamed.
So I was sailed to death as fortieth infant, to save his crown and fame.


The ship sank, I was saved. All other thirty-nine were killed.
I survived, grew and brought back, with rage and hatred heart filled.
My father was the king of the kings, but I was just one among his knights.
It was my kingdom, my throne and my crown, yet as an heir I had no rights.


I wasn’t just a bad seed of the noblest king, I was his fate.
So I laughed, knowing the king’s queen was the lover of king’s best mate.
I pushed them together in a meeting and made the king seize them red-handed.
And when the old king chased his mate Lancelot away, I took Queen Guinevere to my bed.


My father, my king, came back home, to find his son took over his queen and crown.
So he draws his Excalibur, promised to kill his own son, and in his own blood, make him drown.
We met in the ‘Battle of Camlann’ to decide the destiny of a father and his bastard son.
And now we are laying here, my lifeless body and the wounded king counting moments of his own.

ARTHUR:




I was born to save England; I was born to free this Island from Rome.
I drew the Excalibur from the stone and driven the Saxons back their home.
I fought many battle, killed many men. As they say I was invincible.
Me and my knights and our quest for the Holy Grail, is one of the greatest fable.



But to err is human and every human is a born sinner, I was no exception.
Prey of my blinded lust, my half-sister Anna became the mother of my son.
And the prophecy told me, my fate is sealed in the hand of my illicit lovechild
I conspired against my own blood, he sent away and I was watching as Anna cried.



So I tried to find peace in my only love, my Guinevere, my lovely queen
Alas! How could I forget, that I had to pay for each and every of my sin.
It is always darkest under that great lamp, but like a fool I could never see it
My lady love is the lover of my best friend, Guinevere and Lancelot as I saw them meet.



I was wild and blind for revenge and promised to hunt down my childhood mate
As I left my realm behind, hounding Lancelot, in the hand of my other foe Mordred.
The king never recognized his own son disguised as his other trusted man-at-arms
And I left him my empire, my throne, my crown and my queen, to keep them out of harms.



I was deceived once more and for the final time, this time it was the part of illegitimate me
I raised my sword and challenged my son, my nephew. I knew the end is near, I could see.
We fought this bloody battle in Camlann till our last man fell and we fought till dawn
Now his head lying on my lap, Sir Mordred, my child, my beloved, my traitor bastard son.

 

 
Battle of Camlann:


The battle was fought between a king and a traitor,
Sir Mordred and King Arthur.
Who was right and who was wrong?
Mortal enemies or father and son?


A rightful heir and a lawful king.
One bloody clash in one awful spring.
As Camlann saw helplessly, two brave men fighting for the end.
A father and his child are slaughtered by each other’s hand.

One Last kiss

Tell me sweet lies, truth seems so bitter                                                   

Tell me they are all gold, if they glitter.                                      

Say, all I see are false and all I hear are true                                          

As I can see you lying, whatever you say or do.                               

I am not weak, so stab me here, right in my heart

So I can see myself bleed and you’ll have new start.

But don’t you let die without me looking into your eyes

As I still wonder, when I’m dying, will you cry?

You are smiling at me and I guess I know why

I have very few moments, before in your arms, I die

Tell me love, will you grant the dead man’s last wish?

Before this last drink, will I have one last kiss?

Guilty Pleasure

Life of a sinner and mask of a saint, days as they go by                                       

Another face in the crowd but deep inside I’m devil’s own

As girls say, how their innocence were robbed, with a sigh

And I can see my self smiling, and I still walk all alone.

Love to see how their purity taken over by burning passion

And last unsuccessful attempt to hide their nakedness

So foolish and naive, but still they deny to learn this lesson

 Little palms are only to hide the face, not the voluptuousness

Teary eyes will now plead not to snatch their last possession

Mumbled lips will now beg for the almost violated honor

And then the most brutal surrender, rest needn’t to mention

Heart will cry, mind will be numb and the body will open the door

It’s so quiet, only the sweet sound of their weep and moan

And I, smile to myself again, seeing them staring at the ceiling

Blankness and empty feeling, as they think about this ‘wretched con’

The dilemma of innocent heart and corrupted soul is just so killing.

As they think of the passed moments we lived with sheer passion

The moments of the sin and divineness, hurting guilt and evil desire

 Confused as their mind divided, between sinful bliss and moral mutilation

And I turned and walk away to find myself, another ‘guilty pleasure’.

PROMETHEUS

Oh! That eagle, flying and coming back again

To eat a piece of me, as it does all the time

Everyday it kills me, so I can live for another day

An eternal death, what my fate has gifted me


Was I wrong? Ask the mankind, not the gods
To bring them fire and made them equal to us
And my belief, human will conquer the Olympus
Fake proud and glory will be burned down in ashes


I am chained here in Caucasus, but my soul is free
End of my pain and twinge is just a matter of time
The angels and gods are not with me but a human
And the eagle’s fate is sealed with Heracles’ arrow


But oh my fellow men, don’t let Pandora and her box
To deceive you, to lead you in the path of vain
Don’t let go the hope and faith out, hold ‘em tight
As I only have them, for me and for my mankind

Downfall

It’s been quite a while; I am fighting a losing battle
Perhaps this is the best time to realize, I am on my back on wall
Probably too late to turn thing around or to make a score settle
I can see, I can feel, the end of all I ever had. My downfall.

May be the day has come, when I should accept my defeat
And let go all my glory and proud, that I gained till today
May be I should surrender to my fate and accept way of discreet
And see all those golden days passing by me and getting fade away.

But deep inside me, there’s still a feeling, that, I can be a winner again
Don’t know how far the feeling is true; don’t know how far I can go
But it feels good to be a phoenix and rise from the ashes when it rains
And fly high with the loudest scream, that I am still alive, let you know

I just want my feet, back on the ground again, holding my head high
Fury in eyes, power in my arms and courage in my heart, I want them all
So I can get my life, back to me again, so everyday I don’t have to die
So I can say it to myself, ‘This is not the end of it’, this is not my downfall.

BLOODY VALENTINE

A twisted tale of trust and betrayal, pleasure and pain

A life of a wretched lad who lost all and gains none

A story which started two decades ago in a small town 

Where the life was nice and happiness was an easy found.

There was a boy, simple and shy, yet a headstrong

One day walked out to seek the truth in a path so wrong

In the street of love where he found the ugly beasts

Disguised in beauty, eyeful of treachery, covered by mist.

They came like storms, and left him battered and scratched

Only to make him realize, his dreams are so far fetched

The foolish boy, kept his faith on every passing year

Just to find the days of love, turning days of agony and fear.

And so he’s still waiting, for what he’s seeking and believing

Wish to change this dark lane into a boulevard, where he is walking

For so long, tired of being with people so unfaithful and unkind

He is celebrating again, yet another, BLOODY VALENTINE...

Lonely Poet

Sitting alone, all alone, with these bleeding wounds

They keep oozing blood and I love it when they burn

I scratch them alive and they make me cry without a sound

More scary and ugly the bruises look, but I don't give a darn.

Everyday I carry them with me, in my heart in my mind

They always remind me, I don't have rights to smile

And if I do, I rather rub salt in them rip them and grind

Fear of forgetting my pain, even if it is for a while.

Every night I stand naked in the cold gentle wind

And so slowly they make me numb, and still it hurts

Pain makes me forget how everything in my life been ruined

Oh, how I love to dig them, my deepest gashes and cuts.

Love is a debt on my life and I will pay for it till death

With my silent scream, tortured mind and heart filled hate
In this new world of mine, there is no place for trust and faith
And in it I am waiting, for nothing, I, the lonely poet.

Things are not right

Something, somewhere, somehow is not right, not fine.


In the music of life, some tunes are missing, some are faded,

No matter how I’m trying, seems like it’s not getting fixed.

And I am losing it, bit by bit, inch by inch, step by step.


You win some, you lose some and you run on fate’s thin red line.

For a few lucky ones, the line never runs into a dead end.

And for a few it ran short, make them fall, like it did

For me, and suddenly I’m all by myself, free yet trapped.


At times I am angry about myself, at times I feel pity.

Cause no more pieces are falling right in the picture perfect

No more easy ways ahead of life, all seems twisted and unknown.

I’m at risk of getting lost and never make my way to my dreams.


Living life feels less like living, rather more like a duty.

Back to the same phase where happiness, a dream, pain a fact.

I close my eyes and say, it’s always darkest before dawn.

Hoping it’s a night, not the cloudiest day, as it seems.

ME, SHE AND….. HER..

We’re running in the woods, giggling, falling and kissing.
Holding her in my arms I was the happiest man living.
And then she ran a li’l away from me, behind the trees
I could see her, and suddenly I felt a soft musky breeze
On my face, I closed my eyes and breathed it deep in
Opened my eyes only to found, my darling, nowhere to be seen.

It was getting dark and the lovely woods started looking scary
The trees were speaking to each other, the wind was fiery
I was running and calling her name, as I reckoned I was lost too
And I didn’t know the way back neither I know how to pass through.
The moon goddess were at her full glory, showing me the path
The forest was looking so mysterious in the moonlight bath

And then I realized I came near the sea shore, could hear the waves
Could see the waves forming and foams were leaving their trace.
Woods were behind and someone standing right in front of me
Her hair was open, white gown was touching the sands, it was my sweetie.
I slowly stepped behind her, held her and kissed her shoulder and neck
She turned around slowly and I was spellbound, shocked and quaked.

It was her, and my mind travelled back years ago, when we were together
When we were young and restless, when she was my life and I was her.
Her blue eyes had lots of question in it, her lips were yet so wet
And my lips sank in them, and I thanked thousand times to my fate.
Only I never cared to look at the beautiful sea, once more
As with waves, another white gown was trying hard to reach the sea shore.

Fallen knight of the falling castle

Blood stained sword, broken armor and cracked shield
Burned, slaughtered bodies all around the battlefield.
I’m alone, all alone. Breathing and dragging myself
My vision is blurred, throat’s dry, can’t even cry for help.

Fought many, killed many, but couldn’t keep my vow
The one I have taken, to keep safe my castle door
This very gate, burned and broken, I supposed to protect
By my sword, with my life, I promised to keep every stone intact.

I failed my soldiers; I failed my people, whom they believed
Tortured screaming voices of them, telling me how they were deceived
By the worrier and his oath to keep them safe from all dangers and hassles.
I am the ‘fallen knight of the falling castle’.

I MOVE ON

Where the world is so unfair, words are so untrue
When I can’t take it anymore what I’m going through
I leave my past and close my eyes for a new dawn
And I open them just to see, I walked past, I moved on.

It’s never so easy, never so tough, to break and mend
This foolish heart can never judge a foe or a friend
So I gather the pieces back and see it again grown
And I bid my journey a goodbye, as I am moving on.

I run like the devil as I leave my past buried behind
Though the ghost of the past always finds me wherever I hide
And I wake up in another dark night, all alone
Uttering, "I moving on, I am moved on, I move on and on."

Terror has a face

Blood, pieces of body, burned corpse, they were human, they were alive
They had a happy family; they were mom, dad, son or daughter.
They won’t speak to their loved ones again; they won’t smile, walk or drive
We just count them now, dead body no.1, 2…., or does it really matter?

We cry, we mourn and of course we pray we should never be there, anytime
And if we ever be, we need angels to save us, WE, ‘The weak bunch of fools’.
We want our heroes, their lives, their blood, to make us stand and sublime
We are so afraid to die, so we keep quite even when the hell breaks loose.

We get angry, we get hurt, but we can’t get ready to kill and ready to die
We can’t hit them hard back, we can’t thrash them for their lives,
We can just be silent audience; we can only cheers the fighters high
Can see the unfortunate ones body art, pierced, with bullets, splinters and knives.

How long we’ll be feeble and scared how many times we need to be rescued?
Time for us to stand together, hand in hand, and erase all our disgrace.
To tear them apart and to give our heroes and country, a real tribute.
As we can see clearly, this time, ‘The Terror Has A Face’.

Incomplete

I thought I have learned all, then found myself so illiterate.
An unlearned from a wise lad, driven by his fate.
Tried the shoes of wisdom one more time, but now I got grown feet.
I find myself, incomplete, so incomplete.

I wanted to do it my way, make this earth a better place.
But pushed in a corner to see the world’s mocking ugly face.
I nod my head and ran, like an angry ignored kid.
I see myself, incomplete, so incomplete.

I needed to be loved, to mend this broken heart.
I was clueless like a child, how, when and where to start.
It came like a storm, hit me and swept me off my feet.
Left alone all by myself, incomplete, so incomplete.

I am sitting here now, watching it rain.
Looking at the sky, clouds and thunders, my loss and gain.
Had so much, lost so much, still walking with my creed.
I’ll always be myself, incomplete, so incomplete.

Wings To Fly

I am lost, I am lost, and don’t remember the way back
I was running all the way, running so hard, so I can be lost
I don’t want to be traced or found, I don’t want to go back
And I am seeking what I always needed most

The smallest piece of peace for this tortured mind.
A little care of Mother Nature for this wretched body.
For this smashed heart, some true tears and kind
And a rhapsody with the rain, and burnt out me.
 
Everything else is behind me, guess I don’t need them.
As I am free kite now, got license to explore this blue sky
Free from all the love, hate, name, fame and shame.
So I can kiss my dreams and can bid them goodbye.

It’s time for me to run again, and touch the event horizon
Where the sun kisses the earth, sea meets the sky
Night of my life is fading and it’s the beginning of the new dawn
All I need is my wings on my shoulder, to runaway and fly.

away from life

Should I slash my wrists and bleed till I die?

Should I cut my throat with a sharp knife?

And enjoy some moment of pain to reunite

With my soul, which has been taken away

By the storm of sadness came into my life.

My nightmares promised me hell on earth

And my guiding star has taken me to a wrong path

I know this way only leads to my grave

But I want to dig it with my own hands

To lie down there with one last smile.

Should I kiss a snake or bite hemlock?

Should I be tied and thrown from a rock?

How should I be punished for being

The biggest fool and loser of this world

I feel so low, tormented, so helpless.

Wish I could apologize for everything I did

Wish I could undone every of my deed

I always was a wrong man in wrong place

Still I tried, to be right and failed

That’s why I am seeking the way, to run away from life.